The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering
Celebrated paediatrician, Dr Benjamin Spock, once said that ‘the child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering’. Any parent will tell you; the steering part often feels like you’re driving a ten-tonne truck at night, in the rain, with a flat tyre… Some days though you might just feel like you’ve won the Grand Prix.
Imperfections are what make us human
We can’t win the parenting race everyday. Yet we’re required to figure it all out and be the perfect parent, raising perfect kids. Well the good news is the perfect parent doesn’t exist. And nor does the perfect child. Imperfections are what make us human – and whilst being human may be a beautifully messy business – as long as we are aware of the times we get it wrong, and of course the times we get it right, then we are on the right track to winning a few more races.
So what can you do to steer your kids in the right direction? How do you raise emotionally strong and resilient kids?
The answer lies within your own emotional intelligence – if you can identify your own worries, anxieties and emotional state, you can steer your kids through theirs. Showing a child with anxiety that their emotions and feelings are part of the human condition is crucial. Your child will most likely breathe a sigh of relief to learn that you also have these feelings and that it’s a completely normal part of life. By demonstrating ways to help your child label and manage their own feelings early on in life you can help prevent future mental or emotional issues.
Up to 20% of children and adolescents globally will experience a mental health condition every year.
According to the World Health Organisation, up to 20% of children and adolescents globally will experience a mental health condition every year. Whilst these are more serious cases requiring clinical intervention, they often stem from emotional issues in early childhood. If a parent can build on their own emotional intelligence and that of their child’s, then surely we are setting up our kids for success in adulthood.
Imagine then being able to define that anger together, getting a deeper understanding of your 7-year old’s anxiety, and better still, turning the anxiety around.
ParentalEQ has harnessed this need for emotional awareness by coming up with some universal tools and principles to help build your confidence as a parent and improve the parent-child relationship. Whilst every family is unique, these techniques work across all family dynamics and involve both parent and child. Imagine you’re at your wits’ end trying to understand why your 7-year-old child is so angry all the time. The language you use may work for an adult but not for this feisty 7-year old, and you can bet they can’t quite verbalise what they’re actually feeling. Imagine then being able to define that anger together, getting a deeper understanding of your 7-year old’s anxiety, and better still, turning the anxiety around. You might be a recently divorced parent, wanting to understand your children better, keen to open up the dialogue and verbalise the fears and worries often borne out of divorce. By using tools like the wheel of emotions, fear mapping or breathing exercises you can better understand yourself and your children and help deliver positive results.
Simplified parent-child psychology in the palm of your hand
Understandably, when our lives are so overwhelmed with work, relationships, activities and chores one more thing on the parenting list can just about break us. But you don’t need to be a psychologist to understand your child or yourself. All you really need is the desire for connection and positive outcomes, plus a little technology to assist you on the way. The ParentalEQ app nudges you in the right direction by giving you back the steering wheel. Simplified parent-child psychology in the palm of your hand, which is completely manageable, easy to use and best of all it works. You may even be pleasantly surprised by your own journey of self-discovery – it’s not always about the child!
Raising kids is no mean feat so just remember to hold on to that steering wheel tightly. ‘Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do’. *
Author: Samantha Yetzes
* Dr Benjamin McLane Spock (May 2, 1903 – March 15, 1998) paediatrician and author of Baby and Child Care
We are ParentalEQ – a parenting platform to raise emotionally strong kids. To learn more, download our app in the App Store or Google Play here.
